Marketing my work is clearly not my strong suit so I'm just going to admit it, accept it, and move on.
That doesn't mean that I'm abandoning this blog though. I think maybe it meant that for a little while. But I'm working on a new thing now, and it's good to have a place to jot one's thoughts down that isn't Facebook or Twitter, so I thought maybe I would re-purpose this blog for a more general angle -- to blather on about whatever creative project I happen to have going on.
It's more that I tend to think a lot about creativity in general and sometimes I just need to get some stuff out. Frustrations, emotions, musings... You know, arty bullshit. Not that I consider myself an artist. I'm just a person who gets ideas and likes to make things from time to time. Total outsider. Trying to be okay with that.
So anyway, what CAN I say about this new project? Well... I tend to get inspired by other artists and their creative journeys, it seems. Marlo grew from a David Bowie fascination that started back in 2013. Last year I had a digital drawing thing going on that was inspired by R.E.M songs/lyrics.
So this new thing is called Lifesicle and it's inspired by Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys -- which happened because I went to see him play Pet Sounds at Massey Hall on July 4 and I got ALL THE FEELS. I was lightheaded for like a week afterwords. I couldn't sleep or eat, it was super weird... and then one night about a week after the show I was struggling to fall asleep one night when suddenly this idea came to me and I got up and scribbled it out with an actual pen on actual paper, the whole story from start to finish. It was kind of like I had no idea it was gestating in my brain for a week and then POOF! there it was.
So for the last several weeks since then, I've been editing the story and conceptualizing and working on the art for the book, and listening to the entire Beach Boys/Brian Wilson discography from the beginning. I'm on 20/20 now. I considered doing a parallel Beach Boys/Brian Wilson project similar to The Bowie Project, but nah. I feel like that would be a rehash of the same old kind of thing and that's terribly boring.
Instead, I'm listening to the albums while I work on the art, and I'm letting the music and its creator(s) journey(s) shape the outcome. Which if you know the history sounds like it might be a bad idea, but don't worry about that, lol. I've got this under control. But I will say this... this project feels different from the Bowie/Marlo project. And it makes me wonder if all writers/artists/creators feel that way about their projects. Does every project have a unique vibe? Can you trace that vibe to a particular inspirational estuary? Am I talking out of my ass?
With Marlo, I often felt like someone else was doing the driving. Like I had tapped into something that was a force to be reckoned with, a palpable, forward-moving energy. I was doing the work, making the decisions, etc. But it was a very streamlined process. If I didn't know how to do something, I just figured that shit out. I probably did it wrong a lot. But there was never any question that I would finish it, even during the times when I felt sad and scared that it was bad and no one would like it.
Side note: I still don't know if it's good or bad or if anyone really likes it, because the only people who've seen it are my family and friends, and they love me and are completely biased, lol.
Anyway, like I said, Lifesicle feels different. It feels more fragile. I keep fucking up the art. It's a different kind of art than I'm used to doing, so I'm new at it and I'm learning a lot. But I bought a bunch of art materials that cost me a lot of money and the first attempts were terrible and I wasted a bunch of paint and paper. And that got me kind of down. But I'm soldiering on. I still think that the story and the concept are really cool and I intend to see it through to completion. Despite that, I'm kind of afraid to tell anyone about it. I'm really afraid no one's going to get it.
This wouldn't really be a concern if my goal was to self-publish again. Let me say this: I'm pretty sure I'm definitely going to end up self-publishing again. The thing is, this time I want to try to get it published by an entity other than myself. I didn't try with Marlo, not because I was chicken, but because I wanted to do it myself. I wanted to learn the process, and I didn't want to sacrifice my vision. I also don't want to sacrifice my vision this time either, but I have to try to get it published by someone else and see what happens. Note: I already know what happens. As I said, I will self-publish again. But this time it will be because I have to, not because I want to.
Anyway.
That's where I'm at. Today I was working on art number 16 for Lifesicle, and it was going alright. There was a moment where I had two base paints on the go and I had to wait for them to dry. Pet Sounds was already on, and I laid down on the floor with my half-drunk glass of wine and closed my eyes and listened to it like that for a bit. And it occurred to me that if my significant other came home and saw me laying on the floor of my art room with a half-empty glass of wine, listening to Pet Sounds, that he might feel like he had cause for concern. But it's cool. I was just waiting for paint to dry. When Smiley Smile came on, I went back to work :)
PS - When I was working on Becoming Marlo, my significant other once came home to find me sitting in the dark, listening to Warsawa from David Bowie's Low album. It kind of freaked him out. It wasn't on purpose... I was sitting at my computer doing the digital inking for the book, and when I started, it was still light out. I just didn't get up to turn the light on when it got dark. And then that song came on. But to my SO, when he came home, it was all very ominous, lol. That cracks me up.
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